Even I, without the aide of scientific proof, or the aide of anthropologists, have always known that monogamy was not for everyone. I have also always known that while monogamy for some people fits their lives and hearts perfectly, it still may not be the relationship that fulfills them sexually. I am so thrilled to see others writing honestly about it.
Why not outsource it? Why leave or betray a relationship that fits you completely except that you have a desire for some extra curricular sexual needs?
It does sound wonderful on paper. The problem is we are not honest enough with our chosen life partners. It is not the kink that destroys a marriage, it is the lying about it. The hiding of your true self to your so called life partner.
Just talk with one another. If they do not see and respect your needs, then your are not with the right life partner.
I love my affair. I get just what I need, I am told he does as well, and he is happily married to another.
Affairs, mistress, concubines, dominatrix, spanking, fetishes, my oh my, but there is an eclectic list of what we all need. The list of political sexual exploits is enough to see the need for honesty and respect for what others need. It is not a right or wrong, and their should not be any laws about who, when or what we choose sexually – consensually speaking.
Dan Savage, I love your honesty.
