No Small Affairs

My Affair

nosmallaffairs — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 16:59:09 +0000

Yes, I do still love that word. Affair. It sounds sexy, private, secretive, erotic, and lastly it is the truth.

As I have all ready said, I have no regrets. It is the perfect relationship for me.

I love being in my affair. I love loving with all of my heart.

You are deeply on my mind today sweetie.

My Affair

nosmallaffairs — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 01:53:20 +0000

Even I, without the aide of scientific proof, or the aide of anthropologists, have always known that monogamy was not for everyone. I have also always known that while monogamy for some people fits their lives and hearts perfectly, it still may not be the relationship that fulfills them sexually. I am so thrilled to see others writing honestly about it.

Why not outsource it? Why leave or betray a relationship that fits you completely except that you have a desire for some extra curricular sexual needs?

It does sound wonderful on paper. The problem is we are not honest enough with our chosen life partners. It is not the kink that destroys a marriage, it is the lying about it. The hiding of your true self to your so called life partner.

Just talk with one another. If they do not see and respect your needs, then your are not with the right life partner.

I love my affair. I get just what I need, I am told he does as well, and he is happily married to another.

Affairs, mistress, concubines, dominatrix, spanking, fetishes, my oh my, but there is an eclectic list of what we all need. The list of political sexual exploits is enough to see the need for honesty and respect for what others need. It is not a right or wrong, and their should not be any laws about who, when or what we choose sexually – consensually speaking.

Dan Savage, I love your honesty.

Our Two Worlds

nosmallaffairs — Sat, 14 May 2011 20:08:26 +0000

No, our two worlds will never collide.

I never regret that our two worlds will not be joined together in the traditional ways. We float back and forth to touch one another. It is reassuring. It is wonderful when we touch. I love our secret life.

I do so love you sweetie.

Missed

nosmallaffairs — Tue, 19 Apr 2011 08:48:51 +0000

You my dear love, are so very missed.

ee cummings

nosmallaffairs — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 04:22:41 +0000

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

— I carry your heart with me by ee cummings

Adultery

nosmallaffairs — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 01:38:10 +0000

What a word. I find it is actually kind of sexy.

Yes, Hester Prynne and I have much in common. Yet, I do not walk around with the scarlet letter A proudly stitched upon my chest, to announce my indiscretions. I am not the married one. He is. While I do carry our secret in my heart, daily, I must admit that it no longer bothers me. Yes, for some of you – I am now officially headed for hell, as I do have a non-repentant heart. I love my affair. I used to hate that word. Now I embrace it. It is what it is. It is the perfect kind of relationship for me. He is the love of my life.

Do I wish we could see each other more often? Oh god yes! I miss him daily, all the while knowing that I could most likely not live with him daily. Not his fault, mine. I like living alone. I love loving him.

However, being older now, I have learned that one should never, say never.

SECRETS

nosmallaffairs — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 21:10:17 +0000

Secrets are wonderful. And, secrets can be hard. It is not easy to share the good and the bad. I can’t complain, and I don’t. After all I put myself here. It is just the way it is when you are in a long term affair. I feel I am lucky, as I do have girlfriends that know of the kind of love and lover that I have in my life.

We live so separately and yet we are so connected. I love my affair. Even the difficult times. I lover my lover with all of my heart.

I stumble into people constantly, that live with this very duality of life.

I am so grateful when I hear from you, and you share with me, your secrets.

Apart

nosmallaffairs — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 02:28:08 +0000

God, when we are apart, I miss him.

Not that I expect a daily life with him, but I miss the ‘him’ that he is, when we are together. I miss the ‘me’ that I am, when we are together.

I miss us.

My heart silently aches. There is no one to share such torture with.

Do I Dare . . .

nosmallaffairs — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 15:52:20 +0000

. . . have the right to write when I am frustrated by my own affair, that I put myself into?? Why not. It is real life. As with all of real life there are frustrations, and an affair is not different.

Real life creeps in and you have to take the back seat to his life and his problems.

Yes that part gets tiring.

And yes, if I wasn’t in this affair, no problem right? Wrong. There are problems with absolutely every kind of relationship in our lives.

It is just that sometimes we aren’t in the right mood to deal with all of the other crap. = )

I think they call that life.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

nosmallaffairs — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 18:27:44 +0000

We all know how important it is to a child’s well being and their healthy development, to experience the unconditional love of those adults who nourish, teach and protect them.

I am so lucky and blessed that in my lifetime, as an adult, I truly have that, from another. For some reason when we ‘grow up’ loving someone comes with all kinds of new rules, parameters, and boundaries. We forget how to love unconditionally.

My secret life partner, gives me that. No matter what I am going through, no matter what my life when I am apart from him puts me through, he understands. He is always there for me, and in more important ways than just being there in the same home together.

I am learning that true real and lasting love comes from the core of our hearts, our being and can truly be unconditional. In an affair, you are often sharing separate beds. Maybe it is because I am getting older, but I am more content, happier, and I am in a deeper nourishing and sustaining love, sharing separate beds.